'You don't know me'

Recently I have had varying comments on my capabilities of a teacher... whether it be that I was too nice... that I was too small or anything of that nature. It greatly upset me that so many people felt that I was unable to control a classroom and lead a group of students.

However, I am here to tell you that size, stature, nor level of anger matter in a classroom. I personally believe that I can be nice to those around me, yet still be able to have control and be in charge of a classroom. Mean people make mean teachers... you don't want your child's teacher just being rude.. You want your child to learn.

I have only lived here for two years, and frankly I just have to say the people don't know me well enough to judge my abilities as a teacher. My life before this was deeply rooted in teaching, and even though now I have been in an office for two years, I don't think I have completely lost sight of my goal.

People are so judgemental, and may even judge without the facts. I am sad to leave my job, but excited for what lies ahead. May each of your eyes be opened, and may your hearts be softened to those around you... rudeness or what you feel is blatant 'honesty' is never necessary.

I am a Master

HAHA! Wow, what a joyous time this is!! Saturday I graduated with my Masters of Arts in Mathematics.

The past two years have been probably the hardest time of my life, but... by the grace of God, I made it through. Lord knows I couldn't have done it without my friends (MARY-ANNE) and family, and definitely Hunter.

Life continues to move at a 90-to-nothing pace for me... I had another interview yesterday, and it went well. When I know more definite details of my life.. then I will be able to share. Right now, I am just working... and trying to get my life in order for the next step.

Here are a couple of my favorite pictures from the big day:

My twin sister, Donna and I, walking to the Coliseum for graduation

Family shot with the parents before the ceremony

After graduation, I had to take a picture with my home, AKA Gordon Palmer

After graduation, we celebrated with all the other graduates and our families at my church

Just because

Why the idea for a spiffy new look on a rainy Wednesday night? Just because...

Because, I felt like my hair looked awful....

Because, I was tired...

Because, I am finished... DONE with my Masters degree!! Can you believe it? Right now, I cannot!

Because, I am so exhausted and I can't even tell you what day it is....

Because, I am always cold... so I need innovative ways to wear sleeves

Because, my best friend, Mary-Anne, loves fashion, and is teaching me a thing or two along the way...

Because, despite all the craziness, I believe we should all take a little time to care for ourselves...

Last night, when I got home... I breathed a sigh of relief. I had my very first job interview for a teaching position at a local high school! EXCITING! And I have all assignments and requirements for my Masters degree complete.. now I just sit and wait to graduate Saturday. :) Finally, there is a light at the end of this very tiring tunnel. The stress of it all is catching up with me, but I know it will all be worth it. Praise be to the Lord for His many blessings!

Closing Doors

Today, when I turned in my final exam, I walked out of the doors of Gordon Palmer for the last time. The building that has become my graduate home over the last two years. What an amazing feeling as I took in my breath and tried to breath in all that was around me, as if preserving this memory in my mind.

What a journey it has been. This has been one of the hardest, but most rewarding times of my life. I look forward to where the Lord will lead me from here.

Changes

It is only at the point at which you believe your life can only slow down, that it speeds up at an inevitably fast pace.

I have finished one class.. after a minor mishap, I was able to turn in my final exam (I made a 96!!) and I have received an A in the course. One class down, one to go.

About two weeks ago my fellow Office Associate decided to quit. This has been my first week all alone, not to jinx it.. but it has been great. I told myself I would just have to work smarter not harder, and increase my efficiency. Until we hire a replacement I am working 6am-4pm. I am ready for school to be over, because then it won't be so draining.. but honestly.. I am still madly in love with how great my job is. My management team is the best, the way they value me, and how they relate to me. I appreciate them beyond words. My guys have been helpful too, and that is always nice. It hasn't always been this rosy, but we are back on the right track.

So that is me in a nutshell... I am working 50+ hours and trying to get out of school at an alarming rate. Like I said, just when you think things will slow down. HAH!

I am so thankful how well this is going, yet ready to be done with a few things. I need a few things in my life to move over to the complete pile. :)

Side note: If you are a regular reader and you are willing to pray, please pray for my friend Steph. She needs relief from the pain and healing if possible. Thank you.

The end of Fall 2011

Wow. The semester is over and I came out ok. I got one A and one B. Next semester begins my final semester as a Mathematics Masters student.

This semester has been a tad less stressful than semesters past. Could you say I am finally getting the hang of this? (of course, right before I am finished) The past few weeks have been just as stressful as they could be. I worked and studied, worked and studied.. took out my frustrations on Hunter (yeah... sorry, love!) and studied and worked some more.

Thankfully all my studying payed off, and I was willing to walk away from my last final with a huge smile.

What a journey the past year and a half has taken me on.. it is amazing to look back... see what I have been through, and where I am today. I look forward to beginning a new chapter in this life, as I journey to a teaching job, and life after working full time and going to school. Wow, what a change that will be!!!

I am enjoying a few days, cleaning up around the apartment, catching up on a few things. I also took a nap today after work! :) I am so glad that I planned ahead, and finished my Christmas shopping early. All I had to do was finish wrapping this weekend, and I am all set.

Now, for the rest of the year.. home for Christmas, and then headed to Hunter's home for new years. Working out the last few days of work, and then after the new year, going with the college group from church to Passion 2012.

Wow... it is almost 2012 already?!

A stroke of bad luck

Last week was, in a word... rough. The days went slowly and due to a certain situation, things at work were very tense, and at times unbearable.

I hate to say I caught myself shedding tears at my desk, more than once.

Tuesday night I worked tirelessly to get my final homework set of the semester finished. I pushed myself long and hard and only took a break to make dinner and watch the airing of Rudolph. There was one problem I just had no clue where to begin... and this deeply troubled me.

If you know me, you know I do not believe in leaving an answer blank... so I did my best, researched a bit and put down what I could.. with little to no confidence in my answer. I arrived in class on Wednesday only to find out our homework assignment had been postponed and that the professor would be going over the one problem I didn't understand that day in class. What a relief!  (or so I thought).

With my schedule this semester it works in my favor to have homework due on Wednesday, as I spend Thursday nights in group meetings for my other classes and then help Hunter with his homework. This is a very set schedule that I live by daily, and if something changes, it is hard to recover... however, by the grace of God, I somehow do.

So, after staying up till midnight working on group projects and helping Hunter with his work, I was too incoherent to do my homework. I set my alarm for 3am, after a little sleep I could get up and focus just enough to get it done. I work up around 4:15am... what happened to that alarm clock? The world may never know.

I got up and got ready for work and headed out, thankfully I was able to finish my homework before class started, right in time to turn it in.

In the midst of all this, Friday morning my car nearly stalled out in an intersection on my way to work. What a nightmare. I got scared that my car would die again, so I turned off my radio and defroster. Thankfully the ice from my windshield was nearly gone.

I could tell my car wasn't running right. The gears weren't changing and I no longer had headlights. Yes, pitch black 5:45am, and I have no headlights. I literally coasted into work this morning... not sure really what was wrong with my car.

I spoke with some of my guys and described what had happened.. We prayed for a bad battery, but most likely it was my alternator. I finally called Hunter and asked him to pick me up and take me to my class. As my luck would have it, right when it was time to leave for class, the train stops dead in the middle of the tracks.. the train tracks separate my part of town from the University. Thankfully Hunter knows town well enough he was able to get around but, he was a little ill about it.

I made it to class on time, and turned in my homework. And, at 4pm I left work to get my car checked. To make a long story short, I need a new alternator, and through my guys at work, and Hunter's family... I took it to a repair place that would keep it over the weekend and get started Monday.

It is going to be very expensive... and this just added more stress to my plate. Remember this post? As I talked to my mom about the finances of it all and the stress of finding a place, I was just glad that I had somewhere to take it. I know God will provide, and all things will work out.

To top off my weekend, this happened:

And here I was thinking I would put off buying new glasses in order to offset spending even more money... Ahh, what a joyful time of year this is.. however, it is the most expensive time of the year too.. without all my misfortune.

Hunter has been at drill all weekend, so I was unable to use him as my ride.. but thankfully friends from church have been picking me up and taking me to where I need to go. Otherwise.. I am just sitting at home cleaning... but Hey, the apartment needed it.

Hope your weeks are going better than mine! :)

It's that time

It's that time of year again... I am stressed.. Finals are looming, Christmas is here and pocketbooks get tighter around the end of the year it seems.

I know I shouldn't stress over such things, and that God will take care of me, even in the smallest of ways! But right now, these are the things that are troubling my mind.

1. Finals - a test and a project... the rush to get them finished, the pressure to do well
2. Money - (Hunter) will Hunter start getting instate tuition, will be be able to find an on campus job that will work with ROTC?
3. Money - (Me) I will be going home for the holidays, and because of the way my rent is due, I will be paying rent twice, within two weeks of each other. I know this will be fine and I can do it... but draining my paycheck two weeks in a row, scares me.
4. Work - things are stressful here, for a number of unmentionable reasons.. Part of me loves this place so deeply... but the other part, is so terribly ready to move on.
5. Jobs - Will I be able to get a job out of here? (Of course, see?? Meaningless worries)
6. PhD - Hurry up and wait. I applied in June, and will hopefully find out whether or not I am accepted in February. What a process... yet, I am rejoicing in the waiting.
7. Friends - I visited a dear friend of mine while home for Thanksgiving... she is so sick, so broken, so battered. Won't you pray for her? It was the worst I have seen her these past five years... and it is so hard to talk about. However, I am thankful that I was able to see her, even if it was just to hold her while she shook from the pain. Lord, bless her.. comfort her... keep her.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. It is a charmed life we lead. We are so blessed... but sometimes we can't even think to shift the focus off of ourselves and to the Father. What selfish lives we lead.

Lord,
Help us to turn to you in times of trouble. Help me to most of all trust you in ALL things. Help me to turn to you, rather than myself or anyone else. Teach me to be selfless, and deny the selfish nature of humanity. Lead me Lord.
Amen.

Go Guard!

Earlier this week, I prayed to my Lord... but this time my prayer was very different. I cried out to God. I told Him I knew we weren't worthy, and that maybe we didn't trust Him enough to take care of our situation. I didn't question why, I just begged that He take care of it, however He saw fit.

Hunter has been on a roller coaster ever since he left for basic. Riding on military promises of scholarships and the desire to return home, he and his family frantically worked to get him to Alabama this fall.
We have hit many potholes along the way. Somehow, a Tuscaloosa native was classified as out of state, and the promise of a military scholarship disappeared. Money was squeezed out of everywhere possible just to make it through the fall... $12,000, one semester. And best of all, there was 'no place' for him in the Alabama Guard.

If you can imagine, Hunter is now left with empty pockets, and no scholarship... There was no idea of what to do. Option one: go back to Arkansas and get deployed. Option two: Stay here, drop out of school and risk getting arrested if the Alabama Guard didn't give him a spot (he would be considered AWOL in Arkansas). There wasn't another $12,000 just lying around for him to go to UA next semester... but thankfully, many, many backup plans were devised.

So, I will spare you all the crazy details, but after many stressful nights and phone calls. Hunter was sworn in to the Alabama National Guard yesterday. There was just one catch, he had to re class. His MOS (military occupation specialty) would have to be changed. There was still no place for his job, a combat engineer, and he would have to change to get a spot. Unfortunately, there wasn't an MOS of his choosing, but he had to change to get in. There is the option though, in a few years, that he could change back... Here's hoping.

So, he is in, no more AWOL, and no deployment for now. He is going to enroll in the local community college for next semester, just so he can keep taking classes. To go there out of state is 1/3 the cost of going to UA out of state. He has another promise of in state tuition and the hope of a scholarship for next fall... But we shall see in time.

For now, we are just thankful to have a plan and a direction in which to work toward.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Focus

It has been titled the 'game of the century' and I am so excited to live, work and play in the town where heaven is, Tuscaloosa. ROLL TIDE!

No where else have a lived or anywhere I have heard of that your teams call sign is a greeting, a condolence and 'the right answer to any question.' I will never forget the conversation, 'Don't know what to say? The appropriate answer is ALWAYS 'Roll Tide'.'

#1 LSU vs #2 Alabama. Wow, what a concept. It is so hard to stay focused and not thing of the million things I have to get done before tomorrow, as well as the million things I have to do tomorrow.

Since Hunter was at basic all summer, he wasn't able to purchase student tickets this football season. However, he has been able to go to every game so far through ROTC or the student ticket donation system. We don't have high hopes for such a popular game... but we will see.

My parents and Aunt and Uncle are coming up for the game and I am so excited to see them! It will be my Aunt's first college football game she has ever attended.... I have to say, she picked a good one.

So here's to a crazy, chaotic, fun filled weekend! ROLL TIDE!

Pizza Rolls

Last week when I got home I was craving pizza. I had had a long day at work and with classes and did not feel like venturing out for food. I wanted to use what I had at home, and here is what I ended up with.

Pizza Rolls:

1 tube, crescent rolls

pepperoni's

pizza sauce

assorted cheeses

I layed the crescent rolls out in the individual triangles, and at the base of the triangle, put a small spoonful of pizza sauce. I then layered three pepperoni's, and a pinch of two types of cheese onto the sauce. I used cheddar and parmesan.

I then rolled them into crescents, being careful to keep my ingredients inside, and baked using the directions on the crescent packet.

YUM! No hassle, no driving, SUPER CHEAP! A college kids dream, and fun if you have kids! Enjoy!

ROLL TIDE!

Alabama's home opener was this past Saturday. I had a great time spending the night with Heather and going to the game with some friends from church. This was mine and Hunter's first football game together. ROLL TIDE ROLL!

After the first quarter I offered to go to the concession stand with my friend. To make a long story short, she was very sick, almost passed out and we ended up spending the rest of the game sitting against the wall of the stadium and in the EMS room.

Thankfully after some medical attention she felt much better... just got a little too hot. We then went to the quad at the end of the 4th quarter and then back to her place and continued to watch the rest of the SEC games on TV that night. I had a wonderful Saturday spent with great friends!

Summer planning

Today is Hunter's birthday. As he goes through basic training his communication with the outside world has been limited to writing letters. For the past two weeks, WOW it's been two weeks already??? Anyways... for the past two weeks his family and I have been receiving letters with no return address. Sunday night his parents finally received his address and sent me the information! It is so exciting to finally be able to send him all the responses I have written, and to be able to communicate with him!! Like I said before, today is his birthday and due to us only getting his address on Sunday night.. I hope and pray he receives some of the letters and/or birthday cards we have sent!!

His letters tell me about his day to day activities, that he is tired but having fun. He was excited to receive his equipment and was eagerly anticipating receiving his weapon. He jokingly said, sorry... it must be a guy thing. He said time is passing quickly, and I am so glad for that. As much as I wish the time before school started back would come slowly.. I wish that this summer would pass quickly so that I could see him again. His letters also say that he is praying for me, his friends and family and that he hopes we are safe and well.

As clean up and rebuilding begin here in Tuscaloosa I am interested to see how far we have gotten by the time he gets back in late August. I am getting started with my research this week. I have a paper due before classes start on the 31st... I am really excited about this research and I hope to do well on it and eventually get my work published.

A few things here lately... I am working the 6-2:30 shift without having to leave for class. When classes start the 31st I will just go after work to meet with my research professor. In the July to August semester however I will have to start leaving for class again as I am taking Complex Calculus. Summer is our busiest time here at work as we try to get as many campus projects done while the least amount of students are on campus.

I switched! Phone services that is. AT&T was terrible in Tuscaloosa so I took the leap and got my own phone plan with Verizon. As much as I would have loved to just stay with my parents plan... I needed a phone that actually worked so when people tried to call me I would actually get their call. The hardest part has been re-gathering all my contact information. I sent out a mass text message with my new number for people to text me their names and numbers... and thankfully most people responded. Hopefully in the next few days I will be able to take the time to go through my old phone and transfer the rest of my contacts.

I must tell you how much I appreciate this brief respite from school... and so many days I wish I could just take a longer break. I have so much to catch up on that was neglected while in school.. it has been hardly a time of rest. Two days ago I actually balanced my checkbook! I am ashamed to say, but actually having the chance to do this has been few and far between... so to have a second to actually sit down and get this done was great!! So many people are so busy.. and it is the little things that matter most to me when I actually have the time to do them.

This weekend I attended the Extraordinary Women's Conference... and my favorite bible teacher, Angela Thomas, spoke on how God knows we are weary.. and the opportunities he has given us to rest. It was just the message that I needed to hear... I am weak, worn and weary... but God is made perfect in my weakness. I am so excited to work on 'resting' in the Lord and letting him revitalize my soul and spirit so that I can make it through this busy time in my life.

One more year. It is hard to believe that in three semesters (counting this summer) I will be graduating with my masters degree!! When I began this journey it is something I never thought I would make it through.. but as the song states... 'but if He's started this work in your life, He'll be faithful to complete it, if only you believe it.." And I believe that there was a true purpose and that God didn't bring me to Tuscaloosa at this time in my life and in this way so that I would just be here and leave. I pray that I would learn all that He has me to learn from this place. I truly love it here.

My prayer for this summer is that God would 'draw me close'. During this time of relative slowness in my life.. and that is very relative... due to classes, work and research...

I pray that I would learn more to lean on and trust Him, as He is already teaching me.. however, I want it to be deeper. I don't want the complacent 'good girl' life. I want to live on FIRE for Christ, desiring and seeking His word and will CONSTANTLY. This is my prayer for the summer... would you be in prayer for me? I know that as we turn our eyes to Christ and work to learn more and grow closer to Him that is when the devil starts fighting back. Lord I pray for your strength, as I know mine is not sufficient. I pray for your guidance and wisdom as I face this world longing for more of you. Draw me close to you God.. here my cry. Make my desires yours Lord and fill me up to overflowing. Lord, help me to take time to fill my cup, and then give me the courage to go pour out your spirit and love with others around me. Calm me Lord, still my busy mind and soul. Help me to focus on you Lord.. keep me from getting caught up in the ways and lifestyles of this world. So many times we are 'too busy' for you Lord... I pray that if I make time for nothing else Lord that I make time for you, who is most important. I love you and praise you and pray all this in the precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen. 

Law School Formal

WOW. Friday night, for lack of a better word was... interesting. Here we go.. from the beginning. After class I went to Starbucks to finish working on a problem with Anne. I was super motivated and determined to study all night Friday before leaving for Mary Allison's shower Saturday.

As Anne and I were sitting in Starbucks a guy we have met through studying at Starbucks walked in. This is not unusual as the three of us see each other in Starbucks and chat all the time. He has even been to visit my church a few times. This time, a new motive popped into his head. He came and sat down beside us and rather than getting out his books, continued to just wait on us. After a while Anne decided to give him our attention... much to my dismay as I really wanted to finish what we were doing and get home. He then presented his request to us. Friday night was the Law School Formal, and his date had to cancel due to her work schedule being changed. So.. he wanted me to go with him.. Mind you, it is around 5pm and he wants me to be ready at 7pm! He apologized for the late notice and said if nothing else, I would get a nice dinner out of it. He said he would take me to Chuck's and that it was a bribe if he needed it to be. Unfortunately for the two of them (Anne for all for this from the start) I had no idea what Chuck's was... so the bribe was not effective. After much begging, questioning and me continually saying that I needed to study... I finally gave in. What would it hurt to go to a short dance with the Law school.. after all... I had NO IDEA what I would be getting myself into.

So, with that Anne and I finished our problem and rushed to her house.. I tried on dress after dress and nothing fit... I was going to be embarassed by being improperly dressed in front of a bunch of Law students.. however, if I couldn't find anything I could back out! Unfortunately we finally found a dress. It was too skimpy and not my taste... but I figured I could wear a cardigan or coat over it. So, we rushed to my apartment.. I needed shoes, my hair fixed and make-up. When we got to the apartment, Gabby completely disapproved of my outfit and offered for me to wear one of her dresses. This dress, to me, is gorgeous.. and it fit me way better. With Gabby and Anne trading off doing my hair and make-up I was finally ready and made it to his house at 7pm, exactly!

Poor quality.. but it gives you an idea of what I looked like....

So... we went to dinner (which took forever) and finally arrived at the Formal at 10:30pm. For those of you who know me... I don't drink or party... and I was greatly mislead... because this is exactly what I had just been brought too. Everyone there was completely drunk... and as most times that I have seen people drinking.. looked as if there weren't having any fun. I tried my best to act normal, but I think that the fact that I was not drinking along with all the other people really bothered him, and others around us. I was so thankful when he was ready to go home. I prayed all night that no one I knew would walk up to us.. Lord, it would have ruined my witness. And I was so thankful to get out of there. The law student, who I am trying my hardest not to name, and Anne thought that they had really done me a favor by 'broadening my horizons'. However, I must say that my horizon through Christ does not need broadening.. my convictions are my own, and I do not try to force them on anyone; and I do appreciate those who respect my convictions. While the night wasn't horrible, it is definitely something I will NEVER do again. And the next time someone asks me to help them out, I will learn to just say no. Part of this is due to my naivety in certain situations.

However, I do wish to think that everyone would be like me... until otherwise noted. I am proud to say that I live my life differently from others. And I praise my Lord for giving me the convictions and desire to do so. I so hope that each of you, when feeling the tugging of the Holy Spirit in your life will slow down, listen to what He has to say...and follow His commands. This life, is the only life that is completely fulfilling and rewarding. A life of Christ is the only life I choose to live!

In the end, this was a good learning experience for me. I now know more about two people that I see very often, and I know that when they suggest something, I am immediately to say no. Also, the two of them now know that I am not going to budge on my convictions and that my stand for Christ will not be moved. The experience made me miss my friends in Troy and Sean... for they would have never put me in such a situation. But, that is what life in the 'real world' is for... Learning, living, and being on your own. Making decisions and making the most out of life and what it throws at you.

....When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere

When I don’t measure up to much in this life

Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ....

~Forgiven by Sanctus Real~

It's Official!

It is official! I have had my first classes at UA and I received my official job offer in the mail today! Monday I go in at 8am to start work! I am very excited. It is going to take a little time to get back in the swing of college math as opposed to high school math teaching. So, as of right now... my classes are somewhat scary, but I don't think they will be too hard.

Tonight I went with Casey to the BCM for 'Ice Cream and Church and Church'. It was a time for us to each ice cream and meet local churches and their college ministry staff. While in Tuscaloosa, my sister Beverly went to Ridgecrest Baptist and I have chosen to visit there this Sunday to see how I like it. I have been a few times when I was younger and I am excited to go back. The college ministry staff was very fun and exciting and I am ready for Sunday to be here. I really want to get involved and be plugged in to a church.

Have I told you about Casey? I am not sure... so.. here goes. I keep talking about her so I figure I should introduce her. Casey is a girl that I met in high school through a leadership program CYYLP, otherwise known as Coffee County Youth Leadership. Well, she went to Samford for undergrad and now is at UA for grad school. It was so great to bump into a friend that I already knew and loved and get to be back in touch with her. :)

Now... for a few pictures.... I hope you like them!

I finally got some stuff up on my walls... so this is what my room in my apartment looks like!

Of course... if you know me.. you know my life is consumed with BLUE and GREEN. I absolutely love it! And for my bed... I went with a more plain spread and sheets so that the would stay in 'style' longer and I could get years of use from them! 

My desk and dresser area are cluttered... but I am working on that. :) 

Bathroom! :) 

The first page of my official job offer and acceptance letter! I am so thankful to be employed by UA!

Student ID!! I couldn't wipe the smile off my face on the way to my first class. It is a dream come true to be a student at UA. Life is grand and this campus is mesmerizing to me....

ROLL TIDE!!

Here's hoping

Today I checked my 'Crimson Mail' - my email for the University of Alabama and I got an email that I believe to be in error.

I've been trying desperately to find a job, as I need a way to pay for school and my housing. I haven't had much luck.. but I am leaving that up to God. It's tough however, watching my bank account dwindle, knowing bills are coming up.

Yesterday and email was sent out to all new and returning GTA's about orientation. I applied to be a GTA, but was denied. So, of course I feel that I have received this email in error, but man would it be nice to get that position. Ok, so, what is a GTA? GTA is graduate teaching assistant, I would teach undergraduate courses and work for the math department while they pay for me to get my graduate degree. To have gotten this would a be a dream come true.

So, the lady who sent out the email is out of the office until Monday. I replied and asked if my status had been changed, so here's hoping! haha

But, I'm not going to get set on this. God has a plan, and He will take care of me!

A friend in need

In the spring I became really close with a fellow intern and during that time she experienced a lot of great trials that no 21 year old, or anyone for that matter, should have to endure. I have spent many nights staying up late with her because the pain was so great she couldn't sleep.. and I have cried many tears for her.

She is probably the strongest person I know, and through it all she has remained a rock, only allowing herself to publicly break down once or twice... I feel that God gave me to her to shed tears for her.. and that He gave her to me to help me through a difficult time in my life by showing me how truly blessed I was and still am.

Tonight is particularly hard, like this past thursday night, because she is in Birmingham for the summer and I feel that I cannot be there for her when she needs me. I think that I am most excited about moving to Tuscaloosa this wednesday because I will be so much closer to her, but I am also scared because I know when school starts she will be back in Troy and we will once again be far away.

My heart cries out to God for her so often... And I know He comforts her in a way only He can. Right now I just ask that she be lifted up in prayer, to know that she is loved and cared for... and that everything will be ok. Sometimes I wish that I could just magically appear when she needs me... and I just hurt because I am so far away. Her friendship is something that I truly value and is a friendship like I have never had before (in more ways than one, haha).

God, I ask right now that You lay Your hands upon her, show her Your love and mercy. Teach her God that all things become new and to count her blessings. Show her Lord that when the way is tough that You are there to carry her. Bless her God, as only You can.. Lift her up Lord, comfort her, draw her close to you... 

Collegiate Refugee

Saturday night I once again became what I affectionately have named as a "refugee". Everyone knows that my twin and I are two totally opposite people... and there are some things we just don't agree on. Well we have lived together for four years now and there are still some issues.. as with everyone who lives together.. that you just learn to live with.

Saturday night she had some friends over to enjoy a night of fun coupled with a particular drink that I do not approve of at all. I was out with friends that night as well and didn't get back to the house until midnight. However, when I got there I was greeted with nowhere to park at my own home (***something she complains about immensely***) and a bunch of loud boisterous people that I didn't know... and a few I did.

I tried to ignore it and went straight back to my room, smiling all the while trying to be friendly to her guests. As I tried to settle down for the night the crowd just kept getting louder. It was then that I called Sean to seek refuge. Now, here is my situation... I am uncomfortable in my own house.. and yet, I don't want to stay at Sean's... because yeah... that just looks bad. So I tossed and turned with the idea until I went into my bathroom... and now.. this may seem silly, but I have a few pet peeves which isn't good when my bathroom is used at the guest bathroom for guests that I don't appreciate. So, problem #1  -  the toilet seat was up. I believe any man, who has any respect for a woman, will once finished in the restroom, put the seat back down, especially in a house of only girls!! Problem #2 - I am extremely OCD, and when someone knocks my rug off center in the middle of the bathroom floor and doesn't bother to fix it... well it drives me crazy on the inside. Silly I know, but true. :)

So, that was the last straw. I grabbed clothes to sleep in and my contact solution and left. I went to Sean's and slept on an air mattress in his spare room. In the end, I was just thankful for a place to go... And thankfully Derrick nor Sean minded me invading for a night. I got up early that morning and left to get ready for church.. which was an amazing service... and God's blessings were evident. He always knows how to take my mind off my troubles.

Another random rant about Donna. For graduation we divided up our thank you cards and each were supposed to do half... if you know my sister you know this was an impossible idea and I should have done all of them to begin with... but I was trying to be adult and fair and divide the workload. So my half got done two weeks after graduation when I returned from my trip to DC.

Today I ended up doing Donna's half... I discovered she hadn't done them yet and that well, kind of made me mad. It took me all of 20 minutes to write, address and send those thank you cards... The moral of the story.. I know my sister, and I should have done it to begin with in the first place. She has a lot of growing up to do.. and I think that me moving out and away will be beneficial to us both.

I am headed to Tuscaloosa with my mom and dad tomorrow to find a place to live! I am really excited for this chapter in my life to become a reality... Pictures and stories from tomorrows adventure are sure to follow!