Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Good times, and a little about 'time'

This past weekend I was blessed to have the bestie fly down from DC to spend the weekend with me and us travel to a friends' wedding together. I had so much fun getting to spend time with her, chat, and just hang out. I forsook all homework for this weekend and it was a glorious weekend.

After the wedding a group of old friends went to Starbucks and then dinner together. It was just like old times and we were both sad to have to leave. It just reminds me what a blessing my undergraduate experience at Troy was... and how I am so blessed to have great friends.

As for the homework thing... this summer class is kicking me... And yesterday... I let the devil get me down. Working full time, while doing grad school can do that to you. This summer I am doing my research, and in July I added on another class. Bad idea.

So yesterday, after not being able to finish my homework the past few nights and having an upcoming test... I am stressed to the max. I began to tell God I didn't have time.. there wasn't enout time in the day... and that I am just so weary....

Again, I love being in control... and unfortunately my 'self' likes to take the reigns from God. However, after crying my eyes out at work (of course this would happen during the most emotional time of the month...) my faith was restored. Clint told me not to worry, that in the end, whether or not I had an A or a B in this class didn't matter in the grand scheme. And my devotional for the day was about 'not having time'.

I put WAY too much emphasis on school, and often times left my school and school work define my worth as a human. However, this is not true. God defines who we are and loves us so much!! I need to get my priorities back into place. Even if I don't have time, there is always time for God.

Luke 9:25
For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?

In the BIG picture... God is the only one that matters. If He brings us to it, He will bring us through it. If we choose to let Him have control and let Him lead... then all other things will fall into place.

Now, just because I trust in God and I chose to put Him first yesterday didn't mean I finished my homework last night. I did 4 problems, in 4 hours... then I was so tired I had to call it quits and go to bed. Here's the thing. I didn't pray and spend time with God yesterday afternoon for the sake of God miraculously finishing my homework for me... that isn't the point. The fact is, when you spend time with God your soul and mind and spirit are strengthened.. I was given a peace knowing I did something that truly mattered yesterday afternoon. I spent time with my Father, time with my Maker.. and my soul was given peace and rest. This is what matters... time spent doing what matters most... and the rest will work out. You can't just throw it down, God expects you to be a part of the process. So get up off the couch and get it done! :) Just know, that God will bless you beyond your wildest dreams if only you trust Him and let Him be in control.

This is a daily process, a daily fight agains satan's snares. Pray with my and for me as I pray for each of you!

Bless us indeed!! Help us to put away foolish things and make our hearts thirst and long for You like never before! Captivate us Lord, move us to the place that You want us to be. Encourage and strengthen us Father. Give us the courage and the strength to let you be in control dear God! Open our eyes to see how much more life is when you are number one in our lives. Lead us Lord, teach us. Help us to live out our lives for You, knowing that everything else will come into place. I love you and praise you God for what you are doing and what you are going to do. May the glory be all to you Lord. ~Amen.

Side bar: After telling Clint how I wasn't smart enough to handle classes and work, and telling him I was giving up (all before the Lord used Clint and my devo to convict me) Clint was able to make me open my eyes and gain a different perspective. This morning at work Clint handed me this:

 I am a 'smartie' ;)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

30 Days

The waiting is almost over... It is hard to believe that is has been almost three months since the tornado.. and and almost three months since I have seen Hunter. I am thankful for the 5 minute phone calls, (sometimes I get a 20 minute call!!), that assure me that he is doing well.

Yesterday's letters said that God has blessed us through this journey. And I could only agree. I am so happy to have gone through this time with Hunter, and I am so glad that he was willing to go through this time with me. I couldn't be happier, and the legacy of letters and memories from this summer filled with old school communication, aka 'snail mail', will be memories and times I will not soon forget.

30 days.. 30 days left until I travel to Arkansas to make the journey to Missouri with Hunter's parents. I was fortunate to have coffee with them on their most recent visit this weekend. The Lord blessed us with beautiful weather and I had a great time sitting outside Starbucks just taking the time to chat. We solidified plans for my coming and I am so thankful to have such a blessed relationship with Hunter's parents!

30 days. When I first started this countdown 76 days ago, I almost felt as if I would never make it to this point. Don't get me wrong, there have been times I was so sad, or worried, and I wasn't sure that I could deal with him being gone. But God has provided and blessed. God has given me the much needed time to focus on my studies while Hunter was away, and has strengthened me and grown me in ways I never thought possible.

I am so thankful for what God has blessed me with through Hunter. I pray that the Lord would continue to draw me close to Him over the next 30 days, and then continue to draw me closer beyond that time. What an amazing chapter to add to my journey. God's blessings are definitely better than anything that we could ever imagine!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


The past two weeks a number of varying decisions have come my way. Through spiritual guidance, consulting of trusted friends, spiritual mentors and my mom ;) action has been taken.

Yesterday, when I was in the final steps of decision number two I realized, either one of these things could happen, and my life would be changed forever (again). These are probably some of the biggest decisions I will ever make, and I am glad to say that they are completely in God's hands.

No matter what, I know that God has a plan. I pray that He will direct my future in the ways that He sees fit. And I pray the he gives me a peace with each decision as it transpires. Lord, bless me indeed.. lead me into the CENTER of Your will. 

In the coming weeks and months, I will know the answers to some of these decisions, and right now don't feel that God wants me to share these ideas with everyone. I just ask for prayer, that God's will be done above all else, and that whatever happens it works for the good of the kingdom work.

I am thankful to be able to open myself to so many opportunities. Many times, as in this time, God calls us to wait. Right now I feel as if I am in a circular room, with doors all around me.. many of which are open. Rather than taking control and trying to figure out what is best for me on my own, I have decided to act in the only way that I can, and now sit, and wait for God to lead me to a specific door.

I love you and praise you Lord. Thank you so much for overflowing my cup with blessings.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Summer Session

Summer session II has officially started. Yesterday I began my new schedule of working, leaving for class, and coming back and working again. I will still have my twice-weekly meetings with my research professor on Monday's and Thursday's too. So... I have expanded my schedule from 6am-3:30pm to 6am-5:30pm... then I get to do my homework... and my research.

Last night I was very diligent, went home, ate dinner and then began working away at the 4 sections of homework that were assigned in today's class. At 9:30pm I finally looked up and knew I couldn't do it anymore... my back was sore from being hunched over my books and I was exhausted. Four hours straight on homework.. and I only got through the first two sections. Hoping that this isn't a sign for the next four weeks.

Since this is a summer course, it lasts for the next four weeks.. and our first test is Friday. Yeah, class started.. YESTERDAY! But anyways. The pressure of a four week class is on, and I am praying I am up for the challenge.

I have been reading and hearing a lot, through bible study, radio and other means about resting in the Lord. How people today in our society just don't rest, or honor the sabbath. I decided after the tornado, at the Women's conference that I would try to make this a spiritual goal of mine. The message Angela Thomas brought was on being weary and worn out, and how God offers us rest.

My schedule and lifestyle isn't conducive to rest. I work, go to school, go to church, maintain a daily bible study, and write letters to my soldier friends. :) Needless to say, there is no room for error in my schedule, and no time for fun either. Good thing I enjoy the life God has given to me. :) We as humans are so focused on time, not having time, gaining time, or using time.. when in reality, God created just enough, if not more than enough for us. We must just focus on how we use that time in order to make the best of it.

Many people may not agree with what I am doing with my life, and many may not understand. However, my motto is "Nothing easy is ever worth it." and I know that through hard work and perseverance I am leading my self to a better life down the road for me and my future family.

I praise God for His grace and blessings to have this opportunity, and I thank Him for it. He has given me infinite mercy in times of trail and He has grown me and blessed me in ways I never thought possible. Praise God!!

It is my prayer today that no matter how 'busy' we are, that we learn to take that time to rest in the Lord. This is going to be a Journey in itself for me. But I believe that God keeps bringing it to mind because it is a necessary changed needed in my life. I pray that you would spend some time self reflecting.. 'for all have sinned..' Compared to the world's standards we are all great people, but that isn't our benchmark. When comparing ourselves to Christ we all fall short. I pray that God would reveal the sin and shortcomings of our lives to us, and to move us and change us and bring us away from those things. I pray for continual growth in His spirit and wisdom. I pray His blessings, grace and mercy upon you. And may all the glory be given to God!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

4th of July

What a weekend!

I had a great time at home just spending time with family. I was finally able to rest and just enjoy some time at home. It was truly therapeutic, and I felt like a new person today at work. I did two chapters worth of work for my research while home, so I can say it was a somewhat productive weekend as well.

Upon arriving back to Ttown I discovered my jump drive had been damaged... aka: it was no longer showing up on my computer. I vowed to check it on my work computer today and stressed about the 5 years worth of information stored on the drive.

Since my computer crashed my junior year of college, I have been terribly afraid to save anything to my laptop.... and have since, been saving everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, to my jump drive. Now that I have my mac I am able to save things to my computer without worry, however, I just hadn't done it yet. The ability to move freely with all documents in hand was just too alluring.

Unfortunately, when I inserted the drive into my work computer the results were not good. Nothing... again. My drive was in fact fried and there was nothing I could do about it. Thankfully, by the grace of God, my research professor has been asking me to move all my documents to Google Docs, so that we can work simultaneously. Little did I know this would be a HUGE blessing!! Thanks to this, all my research has been recovered.

This past week I have been diligently working on updating my resume for my boss, and other things. And that was lost as well. Praise be to the Lord, AGAIN, that I am a math person, and seek advice from those better suited at English than I. I had recently emailed my resume to a friend for a quick look of approval.... Yes, I did lose the most recent changes, but I didn't have to start from scratch! I was able to redo my changes today, and get my resume where it needed to go.

The Lord has blessed me so richly with my job. I cannot thank Him enough for it!

Also, Hunter was granted a pass this weekend, and I was so happy for it! He wrote a sweet post on my facebook and we were even able to talk on the phone for about 15 minutes. What a blessing! Have I told you how GREAT my God is??

I start up another round of class tomorrow, while continuing to work on my research. I am nervous about being so busy again... but I seriously just have to put my foot down and do it. This will be the toughest four weeks of my life, adding on this summer class... but I am trusting God to protect, strengthen and provide... in just a year, I will be graduating with my Masters degree! Wow how time flies.

Many decisions and opportunities are crossing my path right now... I pray that God give me the strength and guidance to discern what is His will for my life and my professional career. I only want to do what He has for me... because, I know if I am in His will, I will be truly happy!

Prayers and blessings to each of you! I hope you had a happy and relaxing 4th of July. Praise the Lord for all those who have fought and will fight for our country's freedom.. and Praise the Lord for our founding father's faith in Him.. may He 'draw us close to Him' yet again!