Swamped

I hate that I haven't been able to post in so long. I have so much to share with all of you... yet so little time. Last week I started my job... I am currently here now, as I write this. Work is great! I work with an amazing group of men, and the Sr. Office Associate has been really helpful and kind. She even got me a nameplate for my desk.. which makes me feel like I belong.

Now doesn't that look official??

I am tired... and my new schedule is going to take some getting used to. I go in at 6am every morning, so that I can get my 40 hours around my classes. But, God has truly blessed, there are so many factors that I could forsee making me hate my job, but I love it. I am truly blessed to work at UA.

Now, for classes, I have three of them; two of which are going pretty well and one that I am really having to work at. So I guess I can say classes are going well too. I officially have no life, and I quess that's ok, since it's pretty much just me up here. I went home this weekend for a family reunion, and every time I go home it is harder to come back... but when I am here I am happy.

I had a great but whirlwind weekend with my family, and I even managed to squeeze in a driving lesson with Daniel. HAHA! Lord bless him for his patience with me. But I did drive our friend James' stick shift car, all around campus. I am thankful for all of my guys. If it weren't for them, I'd go nuts. Sometimes, girls are just unbearable. I even had dinner and played dominoes with Daniel, James, Sean, Adam and Curt. What a great time. And, friday on my way to town Daniel, Derrick and Sean met me for dinner in Montgomery. What a great time. I honestly know the greatest guys in the world. Each of them are great Christian men, and there friendship cannot be beat. I know that one day each of these guys will find a wonderful woman in which God has made for them, and boy, will they be blessed.

The Pruning Process

God has really been dealing with me the past well.. forever. But especially the past six months. Last night I became broken before God and just couldn't contain my tears. I had a pretty good and relaxing day and even went to dinner and saw the movie Eat, Pray, Love with my roommate Emily. But I found myself last night unable to contain my emotions. I couldn't wait to get to my apartment and my bedroom so that I could let it all out, or at least try to calm down.

So there I was, in my room, uncontrollably crying to the point where I couldn't breathe. I called Charity and texted Courtney. Charity always knows how to calm me down just by talking with me. She is such a spiritual inspiration to me and I love her. So after sobbing and telling her that nothing really was wrong but that everything was all at the same time I was thankful that she understood what I was feeling. As much as I love it here I have recently realized that I dropped my entire life back home to pursue this college dream of mine. Sometimes, I have an overwhelming heartache to go back to the comfortable wonderful life I led. And I miss that life. But I know that something, well, many things that are great will come out of this.

God gives me assurance that this is his will through many things. As Charity told me, it's hard, but God has opened this opportunity for me, for a reason. This morning I attended Ridgecrest Baptist Church, the church my sister Beverly attended while living in Tuscaloosa. In the College Sunday School class God clearly spoke to me. The class has been going through the book Secrets of the Vine talking about John chapter 15. Today the lesson was on the pruning process and how God works in our lives and prunes us so that we may bring forth more abundant and better fruit.

I believe that in my quest to follow God's direction for my life there will always be, and should always be pruning. When nothing is going on in your life, you are in the hands of the devil. But for the past two years I have been focusing on God taking out of my life what hinders me from fully following Him. Now, I knew this request wouldn't always be easy... And that is what I am experiencing right now. God however, won't give you anything you can't handle. And I have realized that he has prepared me for this in many ways. Last summer I went through some smaller pruning when I first began to seek out God's desire for me to de-cluter my life. In a matter of months I found a new job with the math department and was able to quit my HORRIBLE and stressful job at the Bookstore on campus. My friendships changed, and as much as that hurt I realize what a blessing it has been and I am thankful. And Sean found an amazing job as well. My life was ridded of excess stress, drama and financial burdens all in a week. I am in AWE of God's power.

Now looking back, those things were a lot easier to handle than this prune that I am going through. I have totally removed myself from my comfort zone. The friends I love, the family I cherish, and the relationships I hold so dear. I am not exactly sure what God is going to do with my life and what he will eventually completely cut out through all of this, but I know that in the end it will be a true blessing. As Becky said today in class, God knows what is best for us. And we as Christians are like teenagers, always thinking we know what is right.

This pruning, though painful and hard to bear, will give me a greater understanding of God's plan for me, and a simpler, more blessed life. I trust God and I commit all of this into His hands. I pray that He lead and guide me, and for Him to also comfort me.

Nothing worth it is ever easy. Praise be to God!

God's song for me right now.

Whatever Your Doing 
By Sanctus Real


It's time for healing time to move on 
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong 
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me 
All I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever you're doing inside of me 
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To... 

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me 
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me 
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me 
It feels like chaos but now I can see 
This something bigger than me 
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house 
Time breathe in and let everything out

It's Official!

It is official! I have had my first classes at UA and I received my official job offer in the mail today! Monday I go in at 8am to start work! I am very excited. It is going to take a little time to get back in the swing of college math as opposed to high school math teaching. So, as of right now... my classes are somewhat scary, but I don't think they will be too hard.

Tonight I went with Casey to the BCM for 'Ice Cream and Church and Church'. It was a time for us to each ice cream and meet local churches and their college ministry staff. While in Tuscaloosa, my sister Beverly went to Ridgecrest Baptist and I have chosen to visit there this Sunday to see how I like it. I have been a few times when I was younger and I am excited to go back. The college ministry staff was very fun and exciting and I am ready for Sunday to be here. I really want to get involved and be plugged in to a church.

Have I told you about Casey? I am not sure... so.. here goes. I keep talking about her so I figure I should introduce her. Casey is a girl that I met in high school through a leadership program CYYLP, otherwise known as Coffee County Youth Leadership. Well, she went to Samford for undergrad and now is at UA for grad school. It was so great to bump into a friend that I already knew and loved and get to be back in touch with her. :)

Now... for a few pictures.... I hope you like them!

I finally got some stuff up on my walls... so this is what my room in my apartment looks like!

Of course... if you know me.. you know my life is consumed with BLUE and GREEN. I absolutely love it! And for my bed... I went with a more plain spread and sheets so that the would stay in 'style' longer and I could get years of use from them! 

My desk and dresser area are cluttered... but I am working on that. :) 

Bathroom! :) 

The first page of my official job offer and acceptance letter! I am so thankful to be employed by UA!

Student ID!! I couldn't wipe the smile off my face on the way to my first class. It is a dream come true to be a student at UA. Life is grand and this campus is mesmerizing to me....

ROLL TIDE!!

Classes, among other things...

So today was my first day of graduate classes. My first class was very short because the Professor is out of town. A TA (teaching assistant) passed out our syllabuses and gave us our homework... then told us we could leave. My second class of the day was very different. The Professor handed out syllabuses and then began class. We stayed the whole hour and fifteen minutes and took notes until my hand hurt. Hooray for college. :)

Today I got new mattresses for my bed! I haven't really been sleeping at all and my bed was more like a dorm room bed than my bed at home... I knew it wasn't supposed to be perfect so I just tried to put up with it. Well, I haven't slept and what little sleep I get is very uncomfortable. So Gabby convinced me to ask for new mattresses yesterday, and they came today! I loved watching the maintenance crew unwrap my new mattresses and take them straight out of the plastic! Hoping for a great night of sleep tonight! On a side note, we have a nice maintenance man who took a liking to Donna and Mary-Anne while they helped me move in. He was very flirty and it was awkward... well he came today with another man to put in my new mattresses... well, he asked in a very nice way if I had not been sleeping well, I told him yes... (that would be why I am getting new mattresses... lol) and then as they left he asked if he could help me re-make up my bed. Gabby and I, who were in the kitchen, kind of looked at each other funny... I said no, but thank you for the new bed! HAHA So he then returned with, well I hope you start sleeping better. Again, I just said thank you.

Tonight I went to 'The Well' a college worship service at Calvary Baptist Church. It was an amazing experience. Gabby asked me to come with her, and I brought along Casey. It was a great service filled with great music and a wonderful speaker. I am so thankful that God has blessed me with wonderful roommates who love Jesus.

Tomorrow I only have one class... and I am hoping it goes well. Monday I start work, and that is when the busy life will begin again... However, I am excited... I love to be busy! As terrible as it sounds, it's true. :)

It's time!

It's here... the day we've all been waiting for; or maybe just me! ;) Tomorrow I start my first day of graduate classes. Will it be hard, will it be easy? Well, in time I will begin to know the answers. I am excited and nervous... sad and happy. So we will see how it goes.

A good friend of mine from high school, Caitlin, has experienced a terrible loss this week. She has lost her grandmother. This hurts my heart so, and I am burdened in the fact that I cannot be there for her. I am saddened for her and her family, as I know how much Mrs. Merle meant to each of them. However I do know that she is in a better place.

So, of course, I am a whirlwind of emotion right now. But things will turn out fine in the end. I have ended up with three girls total in my room. Gabby and I, who will be spending the year, and Emily, who is living with us until she graduates in December... We have started cooking for each other and I love it. I am excited to see if this continues once school gets started.

I know this is a very short post... and I do have a lot on my mind... I am just not sure how to put it into words. Hoping school goes well tomorrow.

Changes in Tuscaloosa!

So I am back in Tuscaloosa after over a week long vacation at my parents house. I have had a great time spending time with friend and family and was honestly sad to be coming back.

Here's the news... the apartment complex told Gabby that it would just be the two of us living here.... well WRONG. Another girl moved in today, and another girl will be moving in next week. So we will have a full house... I am excited for new people, but sad because Gabby and I got hyped up about it being just the two of us.. and I have a great relationship with her.

My newest roommate is definitely a drinker, as there is now an expanse of alcohol in the fridge and she is slightly messy.. sad day. She is big and athletic looking but seems nice. She keeps to herself in her room and is a Biology major.. And these are just my first impressions. The girl who will be moving in soon is a Music major and is Asian. That should be interesting... however she does play the flute, so that speaks to my heart. :)

I got to hang out with an old friend from high school today... and it was great to catch up. I haven't seen her in years and I just recently found out she was going to Bama for grad school too! We are going to orientation together tomorrow and hope to be better informed by the end of the day.

I have graduate orientation tomorrow, and then the graduate math department has orientation Monday. School starts Wednesday, and I start my job the following Monday. I am excited and scared to get things going and see how they pan out. Here's hoping! :)

Also, a super thing that is special to my heart happened yesterday. Sean has always wanted me to learn how to drive a stick shift car, and he has taught me how to shift the gears and let try to drive his truck a few times... well He went on a trip with his roommate Derrick this past week to New York. So, my wonderful friends were hanging out at Sean's house... Daniel and James washing clothes, and me and Chelsey just chilling. We had dinner and watched a movie and it was really fun... Well, while the clothes were washing Daniel offered to teach me how to drive a stick. So, we got into Sean's truck and drove around his park... ME!! I drove! Daniel was a very good teacher, and I think my background knowledge helped.. haha! But he was very patient with me and always helped me out and reassured me! So.. this is my surprise for Sean! I can't wait to see him and take him for a drive in HIS car! :) I think he will be impressed. And I am really happy to finally completely know how.

I am sure lots of stories will come in the following weeks... here's hoping for a great year!

The hands of the Healer

John Waller's song 'Hands of the Healer' have gained special meaning to me recently. Everyone remembers the age old joke of the first step to redemption is admitting you have a problem. :) Right now, I am admitting to you, my readers (if I have any), that I am hurting. I am taking this leap of faith and stepping into the hands of the Healer. I believe that I am going through this time in my life because God needs me to trust Him. And I am learning to trust Him, to lean not on my own understanding...  But all this is easier said than done. One thing that I deeply struggle with is the verse that says God will give you the desires of your heart. I am being challenged to dive deep into His word and discover more for myself on this part. I am grateful for my friend Charity, who said to me, doubt is only human, the fact that you are working through it is Christian.

I feel I must rediscover my desires and fall into His arms and trust Him fully to take care of me. I know that God will bless me beyond my imagination and that he only has the best for me in mind... note my theme verse of my blog. :) But again, it is easier said than done.

I am broken, disappointed, and confused. I feel that something I have prayed for, desired and truly wanted has passed me by. However, I know that my life is just taking a little detour from what I thought was the plan. Remember, when we make plans, God laughs; for He always has a far greater plan. Somehow, I just got wrapped up in my plans, and I really thought this is what God has planned. But here I am today, in a new world away from my friends and unavoidably single. It is something that I am taking one step at a time... and most people don't even really know what is going on. But, honestly, it's just too hard to talk about it. Not a minute goes by that I don't think about it, run the past three years through my head and question things that happened.

It hurts.. it hurts me to see other receive a gift I so truly desire and thoughts from my childhood creep into my head. I was always told I would be a nun, never get married and dedicate my life to God. I never had a problem with this and was really somewhat fond of the idea until I met Sean. But now, maybe, just maybe, that is God's plan for me. Maybe the gift of marriage is something that I am not meant to receive. And I know, that no matter what, God has a great plan and a life filled with happiness just for me. But for right now, it is hard.

However, I have chosen to take inspiration from my friend Lisa, so that 'While I'm waiting, I will worship..' God has a desire and a plan for me, and I desire to learn more about Him and strengthen my faith and my walk with Him. I wrote in an earlier blog that I trust God so much more now than I ever have. I believe He strengthened my trust for Him to prepare me for this time in life. It will all work out in time. God has also blessed me with Mary Allison, she recently got engaged and her engagement has brought joy back into my heart. God has a plan, and she is part of it, ever time I get down she calls, writes or texts with some amazing wedding ideas or happenings and it just completely lifts my spirits. Mary-Anne also keeps me sane with her crazy happenings and joking manner. Even though I probably haven't kept her informed about this whole situation like I probably should have, she has chosen to stick by me.. like a true friend. For these four girls mentioned, I am truly thankful. Each has helped me in completely unrelated ways and some without even trying.. but God knows what He is doing and He doesn't make mistakes.

I am truly thankful for my friends, who even though they may not understand, they just go along with me and help me through. Thanks for not prying, and thanks for caring. I love each of you.

Shame on you!

Yesterday I was walking to my car and noticed something that made me rather sad.... Someone, mostly likely on campus hit my car. It didn't dent anything thank goodness, but there are a lot of scratches and some chipped paint. I looks as if a tire scraped my car. So I believe it was a truck or other vehicle taller than my little car. I know this may not seem like a big deal, but it more hurts my feelings. I have tried my best to take great care of my car. This is now one of two damaged spots on my car. But there is nothing I can do... I just wish the world would be careful and courteous to all.

Sigma Alpha Iota

For those of you who don't know, SAI is an international music fraternity, for women in the field of music. SAI was and continues to be a big part of my life. Today, I as well as my grand big passed out popsicles to the 315+ members of the Sound of the South, as a gift from SAI to help conquer the heat.

It has been recently that I realize how blessed I am because of SAI. My best friends have come from SAI, and those friends who aren't in SAI have continued to support me no matter what. It means a lot to me.. I love SAI and its principles and I believe that in part, SAI has made me who I am today.

I learned many leadership skills from SAI through my service in offices for three years and SAI taught me how to completely manage my time to the highest degree. ;) My best friends are in SAI.... Mary Allison, who is my big sister, has always been there for me no matter what... She is always there to hear me cry, to listen to my frustrations and to cheer with me when things are going great. Her true friendship is beyond compare and I am so thankful for it. And also, Mary-Anne... (hmm, I like double named, MA friends!!) This girl has taught me so much, and even though we didn't become really close until later in college I believe that our friendship is as strong as any. Mary-Anne has always supported me and helped me through tough times. She's bounced ideas around with me and shared frustrations with me. Mary-Anne has cultured me and taught me things that I would have otherwise probably never encountered.

These are just two girls... each sister has impacted em in a beautiful way. I could go on for days thanking each of them. I am so blessed to be a part of something so great, and so thankful for these girls who love me so much!

Search.... ENDED!!!

Last week I interview with the Building Maintenance Department at the University of Alabama. I left there with confidence that I had done my best in my interview, but I was still very unsure that they would hire me. On my way home on Friday Mr. Dichiara, the supervisor who interviewed me, called me again to ask a few more questions. He then told me that they would let me know this week. So I continued on home without much hope of a job.

Monday I was called by another department for an interview, and since I hadn't heard from the other job, I scheduled it. Not but a few hours later Mr. Dichiara called me and offered me the job at Building Maintenance! Of course I was ecstatic and wanted to say yes right away, but I explained to him I had already scheduled this other interview and felt that I should go through with it. So he gave me permission to call him after my interview.

That interview was today at 9:30am. I prayed that God would help me make this decision and that His will be done and that I receive the job that I was meant to have. I had the hardest time getting to my interview this morning. I was stopped by the train, then couldn't find a parking spot, then had to walk across campus in the heat to get to the office. I called to alert them I may be a little late, I feel bad when I am not early for things and apologized numerous times to Lt. Cl. Shaver who was interviewing me. I believe that tardiness is unacceptable and for this there was no excuse. We sat down for my interview, for which I was only a few minutes late, and began to talk. He was a nice man and asked me to tell him about myself. I told him about where I came from and that I was going to school up here. And that statement totally changed his mood. He asked me if I was taking campus classes, and I told him yes. And then I asked if he would work with me on the hours required for the job.... and he immediately said no. So, just that quick the interview was over. Let me make something clear for everyone, each application I have put in, I have attached my resume. On the top of my resume, in the objective area it CLEARLY states that I am a graduate student looking for employment during the completion of my graduate degree. Hello people, if you ask for these things why don't you read them?


Needless to say, God had made the decision before I even got there. This job was not meant to be. My interview with Mr. Dichiara was so comfortable and it seemed like a great place to work. I left with a feeling that the office was like a family, much like the Math Department at Troy. Today wasn't an easy path to get to my interview and the man didn't even want to hear me out after he found out I was a graduate student. I drove straight to Building Maintenance and told Mr. Dichiara that I would love to accept the position if the job offer was still available to me. And he said, of course it was. He continued to tell me that I was his number one choice for the job and that he was more than willing to work with me around my classes. I am their Office Associate, and building maintenance is practically a construction company for the University. It feels like family in the office and I am excited to work there.

I must dedicate this job however, to Mrs. Porter and Mrs. Lillis of the Troy University Math Department. Mr. Dichiara is from Troy, and Mrs. Porter was his math tutor. When finding out that I worked for them, he seemed interested to call and talk to them. When he called me on Friday, he said that he had, and that they missed me greatly over there. I honestly believe that my experience over there, and my drive to do the best at what I do is what got me the job. I loved working with Mrs. Lillis and Mrs. Porter and can't thank them enough for all they have done for me. All I did was do my job to the best of my ability, and they noticed and thank me for it every time I see them. I am thankful to be able to work in another family environment such as the one at Troy Math.

Yippee!! My first full time job! I will be working 40 hours a week and taking my 9 hours of masters classes. They are going to work around my schedule and I am very excited! I was definitely over involved during my undergrad years, with school, band, SAI, and three jobs.... so I believe that this transition to one job and just classes will be a welcome and accustomed change.

My search has ended, God has blessed and as always provided... and I couldn't be happier!!

ROOMMATE!!!

Today, when I arrived at my apartment I was happy to find another person living in my apartment! Her name is Gabby and we have already hit it off! She was the missing person that I have been looking for this past month. She is from California and was just home for the summer; she has resigned her lease and will be my roommate for the year. She talked to the management and it is going to be just the two of us. I am SUPER excited!

She actually keeps her door open, like I do, and invited me to go to church with her tomorrow! I am really excited about it! And it makes this place feel more like home! I am so glad to have her living with me.

Stress and Sugar

I have decided to stay with my parents through the week and have really been enjoying my time at home. I helped mom clean today and we cooked meringue shells yesterday. I had recently been watching food network and saw a lady cook meringue shells; so I asked my mom if we could try to make them. Sure enough, when I got home this weekend mom had bought the ingredients and gotten a recipe from my aunt. I have been having cooking withdrawals this summer. I love, love, LOVE to cook and since being in my apartment I haven't really had the opportunity to cook much of anything yet. So I was really excited about mine and my mom's newfound culinary adventure. After almost three hours the meringues were done... they are a slow and steady process, taking patience and care.

And, here is the end result.....

They were amazing!! We topped them with whipped cream, strawberries and chocolate. YUM! I then drove to Troy to deliver Donna a few treats. I just couldn't wait to share my little goodies. :) She of course shared some of her's with Dr. Blackstock, who in turn, when asked what they were made of said, 'It doesn't matter what they are made of, they could be made of elephant dung and it doesn't matter! They're good!' I was very pleased that my treats went over so well. 

I continued in my travels through Troy and was able to stop and see my friend Courtney's new house. She is teaching Math at my high school this year and I am really excited for her! I hope she loves it. I am also excited in a selfish way, because I know that she will be close to me throughout this year, and I know she will be great for ZC. 

After that I went to see Sean and tried to see Elana and Joshua. However, when Sean and I tried to leave for dinner I tripped down the stairs and onto the concrete stepping stones. Sean thankfully caught me before I completely hit the ground, so only my big toe is truly messed up. I will spare you the details, I was just thankful for Sean being there. He carried me inside and took good care of me. He used peroxide to clean my wound and then Elana came over and brought neosporin and bandaids to help bandage me up.

Today, has been a crazy day to say the least. I have next to no cell service at my parents house. I have been waiting on a call back about my job interview from next week. And right before lunch, I got a call from another department for an interview. And of course, after lunch, I got the call from Mr. Deshara about the office job. He wants to hire me!!!! I explained to him about my interview Wednesday, and he said that it was ok to call him after my interview on Wednesday. I hope that he still wants me Wednesday. I really want either of these jobs. 

Prayers and hopes that all goes well these next few days and that I have a definite answer at the end of the week.