The Pruning Process

God has really been dealing with me the past well.. forever. But especially the past six months. Last night I became broken before God and just couldn't contain my tears. I had a pretty good and relaxing day and even went to dinner and saw the movie Eat, Pray, Love with my roommate Emily. But I found myself last night unable to contain my emotions. I couldn't wait to get to my apartment and my bedroom so that I could let it all out, or at least try to calm down.

So there I was, in my room, uncontrollably crying to the point where I couldn't breathe. I called Charity and texted Courtney. Charity always knows how to calm me down just by talking with me. She is such a spiritual inspiration to me and I love her. So after sobbing and telling her that nothing really was wrong but that everything was all at the same time I was thankful that she understood what I was feeling. As much as I love it here I have recently realized that I dropped my entire life back home to pursue this college dream of mine. Sometimes, I have an overwhelming heartache to go back to the comfortable wonderful life I led. And I miss that life. But I know that something, well, many things that are great will come out of this.

God gives me assurance that this is his will through many things. As Charity told me, it's hard, but God has opened this opportunity for me, for a reason. This morning I attended Ridgecrest Baptist Church, the church my sister Beverly attended while living in Tuscaloosa. In the College Sunday School class God clearly spoke to me. The class has been going through the book Secrets of the Vine talking about John chapter 15. Today the lesson was on the pruning process and how God works in our lives and prunes us so that we may bring forth more abundant and better fruit.

I believe that in my quest to follow God's direction for my life there will always be, and should always be pruning. When nothing is going on in your life, you are in the hands of the devil. But for the past two years I have been focusing on God taking out of my life what hinders me from fully following Him. Now, I knew this request wouldn't always be easy... And that is what I am experiencing right now. God however, won't give you anything you can't handle. And I have realized that he has prepared me for this in many ways. Last summer I went through some smaller pruning when I first began to seek out God's desire for me to de-cluter my life. In a matter of months I found a new job with the math department and was able to quit my HORRIBLE and stressful job at the Bookstore on campus. My friendships changed, and as much as that hurt I realize what a blessing it has been and I am thankful. And Sean found an amazing job as well. My life was ridded of excess stress, drama and financial burdens all in a week. I am in AWE of God's power.

Now looking back, those things were a lot easier to handle than this prune that I am going through. I have totally removed myself from my comfort zone. The friends I love, the family I cherish, and the relationships I hold so dear. I am not exactly sure what God is going to do with my life and what he will eventually completely cut out through all of this, but I know that in the end it will be a true blessing. As Becky said today in class, God knows what is best for us. And we as Christians are like teenagers, always thinking we know what is right.

This pruning, though painful and hard to bear, will give me a greater understanding of God's plan for me, and a simpler, more blessed life. I trust God and I commit all of this into His hands. I pray that He lead and guide me, and for Him to also comfort me.

Nothing worth it is ever easy. Praise be to God!