Summer Session

Summer session II has officially started. Yesterday I began my new schedule of working, leaving for class, and coming back and working again. I will still have my twice-weekly meetings with my research professor on Monday's and Thursday's too. So... I have expanded my schedule from 6am-3:30pm to 6am-5:30pm... then I get to do my homework... and my research.

Last night I was very diligent, went home, ate dinner and then began working away at the 4 sections of homework that were assigned in today's class. At 9:30pm I finally looked up and knew I couldn't do it anymore... my back was sore from being hunched over my books and I was exhausted. Four hours straight on homework.. and I only got through the first two sections. Hoping that this isn't a sign for the next four weeks.

Since this is a summer course, it lasts for the next four weeks.. and our first test is Friday. Yeah, class started.. YESTERDAY! But anyways. The pressure of a four week class is on, and I am praying I am up for the challenge.

I have been reading and hearing a lot, through bible study, radio and other means about resting in the Lord. How people today in our society just don't rest, or honor the sabbath. I decided after the tornado, at the Women's conference that I would try to make this a spiritual goal of mine. The message Angela Thomas brought was on being weary and worn out, and how God offers us rest.

My schedule and lifestyle isn't conducive to rest. I work, go to school, go to church, maintain a daily bible study, and write letters to my soldier friends. :) Needless to say, there is no room for error in my schedule, and no time for fun either. Good thing I enjoy the life God has given to me. :) We as humans are so focused on time, not having time, gaining time, or using time.. when in reality, God created just enough, if not more than enough for us. We must just focus on how we use that time in order to make the best of it.

Many people may not agree with what I am doing with my life, and many may not understand. However, my motto is "Nothing easy is ever worth it." and I know that through hard work and perseverance I am leading my self to a better life down the road for me and my future family.

I praise God for His grace and blessings to have this opportunity, and I thank Him for it. He has given me infinite mercy in times of trail and He has grown me and blessed me in ways I never thought possible. Praise God!!

It is my prayer today that no matter how 'busy' we are, that we learn to take that time to rest in the Lord. This is going to be a Journey in itself for me. But I believe that God keeps bringing it to mind because it is a necessary changed needed in my life. I pray that you would spend some time self reflecting.. 'for all have sinned..' Compared to the world's standards we are all great people, but that isn't our benchmark. When comparing ourselves to Christ we all fall short. I pray that God would reveal the sin and shortcomings of our lives to us, and to move us and change us and bring us away from those things. I pray for continual growth in His spirit and wisdom. I pray His blessings, grace and mercy upon you. And may all the glory be given to God!

Trust

So many times the devil gets us down... And so easily we let him. When I am most vulnerable is of course, that time of the month that Aunt Flo visits, and when I have an idle mind. As a person who usually goes 90-to-nothing all the time, on days when I just have time to sit and think, I must be careful to keep watch for the devil's snares.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

As I was driving home last night I began to ponder many things. Someone had said something unsettling to me, not something rude, just something I wasn't sure about. So I began to think on it... and mull over it. This, other events of my day, and my growing emotions got the best of me in that moment. As I began to think to myself: 'no one understands,' 'no one cares,' 'there is no one I can trust,' ... me, me me, selfishness, pity party!! Just as quick as the devil put theses thoughts into my head the Lord reminded me of a few lessons I have been learning lately and some past sermons and teachings at my church.

The devil is always there to take away our joy, to make us feel bad about ourselves, to tell us we are unworthy. He wants us to think that we are the only ones, all alone and worthless. However, Jesus Christ spent thirty-three years on this earth so that He could be our helper, the one in whom we put our trust, the one who understands all our pain.

Praise the LORD!! He is there for us to trust Him always! He CARES, He UNDERSTANDS! When we are lonely, HE is there to comfort us. In the end, there is no one else with which we should place our trust. The people, places and things of this world will always, 100% guaranteed, let us down or hurt us. But God's love never fails.

I stopped my thinking in that moment and praised God for His unending love and companionship. The fact that He is always there, never leaving us, just blew my mind. I am so thankful... so thankful for the opportunity to renew my trust in the Lord and to consciously work to always trust Him, no matter what. Praise Him for His infinite mercy and grace! I hope that you too can place your hope and trust in Him!

"Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth." Colossians 3:2

Lord,
I pray that you would help me dear God, and all those around me, near and far... look to you in times of trouble, in times of joy, in times of peace and in times of heartache. You are the one we can trust, the one who understands, the one we can place our hope in. Set our minds on the things above Lord, keep our focus on You. Fill us until we are overflowing with your grace, mercy and blessings. Help us Lord, to pour out these things on the people around us. Guide us Lord, comfort us and give us peace. Let yours be the only face we seek.
In Jesus' name I pray ~Amen

Secrets

Whenever someone asks me, 'Can I tell you something, that's a secret?' the first thought that pops into my head is, 'Of course, I can, after all, I am an SAI.' HAHA. How silly, but the true importance of trust and secrecy was taught to me in my years as an SAI. Today a wonderful man at work shared a very heartwarming story with me, that I dare not share with you guys... sorry. Just know, wisdom comes in so many forms and ways, and God blesses even in the break room.

I have probably mentioned many times before that my favorite verses of the Bible are contained in Matthew 6 & 7. These first few verses are very special to me. 

Matthew 6:1-8

 ¹"Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven. ²"So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. ³"But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, ⁴so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. ⁵"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. ⁶"But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. ⁷"And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. ⁸"So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

In a world where we are taught to 'toot' our own horn and constantly beg for attention, it is difficult for most just to worry about their own lives and things that should be kept secret. I mean honestly, think of Facebook, people put all kinds of pictures, statuses and information out onto the web that normally wouldn't be, or shouldn't be, broadcast to the world.

I have also heard the term so many times, talk the talk, but doesn't walk the walk. It is my prayer and hope that I continually walk my walk with Christ. I, being a math major, continually acknowledge that I may not have the most eloquent speech or writing skills. Being a daughter of the King, this is perfectly ok! Praise be to Him! 

We as Christians don't need to call attention to ourselves and try to be 'holier than thou'. Growing up being known as 'the Jesus girl' it was hard for people to not try to see me as trying to be better than them with my religion. And therefore, I strive for this fact, that I am in this world, but not of it, that I am a person just like everyone else.. However, I do believe differently, behave differently, and act differently in awe and wonder of my Savior who blesses me and gives me joy everlasting. 

So my challenge for you is to find your 'secret place' in which to worship and talk with the Lord. I am so fortunate to have had this challenge a few years ago and what a wonderful blessing it has been. Take time with the Lord, just for you and God... not anyone else. Because to God, no one else matters! :)

Tangible Love

Below you will find an exerpt from my day's devotional. Girlfriends in God is something I started receiving after hearing about it from my friend Lisa... it has been more than a blessing, and I have passed it on to many other friends.

October 5, 2010



Iron Sharpens Iron  - Sharon Jaynes



Today's Truth


"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17 TNIV).


Friend To Friend


In my silverware drawer at home, I have about 15 knives of various shapes and sizes. However, I only use about four of them and the others simply are taking up space. The problem is, the other knives are dull and I've never taken the time to sharpen them. I could just toss them in the trash, but that seems like such a waste.


The same can be true in our own lives. The Bible says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17 TNIV). When we don't have friends that challenge us and encourage us to grow, we grow dull. Ultimately, we become "not the sharpest knife in the drawer" and other ones are chosen for tasks that we would love to do. Is there someone that God is calling you to sharpen? Is there someone who God is nudging you to invite to be a sharpening agent?


Jesus gave us a word of caution when it comes to "sharpening" our friends. Do it in love. Alice Miller has a good rule of thumb for correction: "If it is very painful for you to criticize your friends, you are safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that is the time to hold your tongue."

As women, we love to soak in warm bubble baths, lather in fragrant soaps, and soften with aromatic oils. But all too often, when it comes to removing dirt from a friend, we pull out the hard-bristled scrub brush of harsh words and scrub, scrub, scrub. The end result is often not the removal of dirt, but a wounded, emotionally scraped and bruised soul. Powerful words are not caustic words. They are gentle, tender words wrapped in an attitude of love. Paul wrote to the Colossians, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" (Colossians 3:12).

Wow. What a powerful message. At times I have felt attacked by fellow Christians in my feelings and I am thankful to say that I now have an army of girlfriends who encourage me and sharpen me with love.

I am as guilty as anyone, and I know that. But one thing I constantly ask of God is to give me something I can touch, see or feel. But God has begun to open my eyes through my conversations with my girlfriends, today in particular, Mary Allison. Each of us experience life differently and handle situations differently. However, as much as I want someone here in Tuscaloosa to talk to face to face, where I can see there expression, I have learned that this would take away the purpose of faith. Why would I have to put my faith and trust in God if I always had a worldy conterpart to look to???

I am thankful for my wonderful friends, and I am thankful that last night God gave me the chance to be still... and bask in His glory and grace. Last night I chose not to do any homework, and actually have dinner with my roomies and just have a calm night. **This will bite me later, but I am thankful for one nice of peace since the past two months have flown by.**

I am thankful for my friends, and how they encourage me to trust Him. And I am thankful that God will always be there for me, even though I can't see or touch Him, literally. But yet, as we live in God's creation, and see His mighty works we are in essence, seeing, and touching Him. Praises be to our wonderful God.

Trusting God

I'M LETTING GO

Album: My Paper Heart: Deluxe Edition

Artist: Francesca Battistelli

My heart beats, standing on the edge

But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat

There’s no turning back

(Chorus)

I’m letting go

Of the life I planned for me

And my dreams

I’m losing control

Of my destiny

It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe

So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith

Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown

Beyond my comfort zone

(Chorus)

Giving in to your gravity

Knowing You are holding me

I’m not afraid

(Chorus)

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe

Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

This is a song that has really spoken true to my heart lately. A lot of changes have happened and most haven't been what I planned for. My life has taken a completely different direction that what I thought it would but as the song says I'm letting go and I'm letting God be in control. I feel that through this I have come to trust God and His power much more than ever before. 

I went home for the 4th of July weekend and encountered my first I 65 traffic jam... It only delayed my arrival to Troy by a little more than an hour. ;) But with that I was able to spend some much needed time with my friends for one last time. We went to the movies and out to eat, as well as just hung out around the house. Saturday my cousin got married.. and well that was the most interesting wedding I have ever been to. But my best friend Mary Allison got ENGAGED Saturday!! This was surely a pick me up from God as I was definitely exhausted and ready to be back in Tuscaloosa. To me, it is such a relief to see a well deserving couple get engaged... They will be so blessed! Sunday I ended my day watching the fireworks in Troy with Sean, my family, as well as Stacy and her fiance Jared. Today I packed my car and headed back to Tuscaloosa. I am glad to be back in my apartment, but sad to be so far away from my friends. 

The job hunt begins tomorrow! I am applying for many University jobs as well as other jobs that I find around town. I am excited to become a part of life here and I am looking forward to my graduate program. 

God is in control

Sometimes, God gives us things in life that seem almost unbearable. In the teenage and college years, most of those trials are centered around relationships. No matter what situation, God is in control and He knows what He is doing. This statement is something easily said, but not done. I have recently begun to struggle with the fact a lot.

I have recently ended an almost three year relationship with a guy that I still consider to be my best friend. I am not sure why this has happened or what God is trying to show me through this. But my prayer is that God continue to work in me, show me and teach me what I should learn through this situation.

So often we go through things in order to help other in similar situations. I pray that everyone can keep their eyes focused on the goal, and running the race toward God. He is our strength and our refuge... a very present help in trouble.