Lord, help.

Here is a song by Mandisa, that is my prayer and my desire for my life right now...

Lyrics to Stronger :



Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end

God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares
'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

Home

I am going to make the trip back to the parents house tomorrow. My nephew Dustin and his baseball team is playing in a tournament to qualify for the state tournament. It is double elimination, and as of tonight they haven't lost a game. So I am going home to go support him and watch the game. I haven't been to a single game this season, and for that I feel really bad.

I am also excited to be going home because, right now, I am really bored here. I don't have a job or classes to keep me busy.. and then only thing that kept me busy in Troy was hanging out with friends. Since I have no roommates yet, I am basically alone here. But all that will change when my roommates move in, I get a job and start school. I am just a person that likes to be overly busy.. and this after-college-life freedom is really weird to me. ;) But, as my mom says, I am taking advantage of it, because I will never again have nothing to do. After this little stint in graduate school, the real world hits. Part of me is really ready for that. I would love to have a steady job, a home to call my own.. among other things.

In other random news, I am a planner (in case you didn't already know), and planning things makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. So with that, I have a definite set of rules when picking a planner for the upcoming year. Last year I had a 'Day Runner' planner, and it has by far been the best planner ever! So this year, I of course bought another 'Day Runner' planner... today I copied down all of my July and August engagements and even penciled in a few other things. I love the beauty of a planner and how organized I feel when my day is laid out before me.

However, I do have somewhat of a superstition. I ALWAYS write in my planner with a pencil. Things change, life throws you a curve... and most of all our plan is not always God's plan. So, it may seem a bit odd, but even though I work hard to plan things out I realize that my God is the one who is truly in control and I want him to have full control of changing something, without the added stress of an ugly scribble on my planner. ;)