The thoughts that plague me

There are times when I just cannot hold it together. There are times when my relationships, with people, and with God suffer. Recently I have been down... down so much so that I didn't know what to do... For five years I cried out, literally to God to heal my friend... things have only gotten worse... And it has been hard to deal with.

Today, I got a text of encouragement from my friend. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately... and How God is in control... and we may never understand. But imagine, how humbling it is to be encouraged by one who cannot live a normal life.. when I am here... driving myself crazy for more.

I must be thankful for what I have, yet conscious of what I don't. Because it is God's perfect plan that makes me who I am.

It is all a journey we continue on... We may never fully understand.. but it isn't the understanding that matters. It is how we walk. Will I learn to continue to walk with the Lord even when times are hard? How about when times are great?

Lord... reel me in. Hold me and never let go. Keep my eyes focused on you.. and when I stray (because I know it will), bring me back... and make me new again. Amen

Out of it... and randomness

I am COMPLETELY out of it.. between working two jobs, band camp, moving, my dad being sick and the crazy other happenings of life I am totally out of it.. I even forget to read the blogs I love to follow. My life is in a whirlwind right now.

I need your prayers, for my stress level, my anxiety, and to strengthen my walk with the Lord despite all the crazy times. It always seems when things get tough.. God is the first one we forget, and it should be that way.

It is so weird training someone to take my job..and at the same time trying to get ready for a new job.

My roommate Gabby, her boyfriend Chad and Hunter all helped me paint my classroom Tuesday night. It is coming along great! I am very excited about the crisp clean feel that a fresh coat of paint gives.

Here's to new beginnings, calming tides and hopes of all worries left behind you. Do you ever get really upset and have that urge to post it all over social media? Yeah, me too... but lately, I have been trying to control that more and more. It is unnecessary to complain all the time online, only those who seek attention "need" that. And, think of how long people made it through life without social medial. Find a friend, sorry folks Mary-Anne is taken, and talk it out. It really helps to have a best friend who you can be totally honest with. LOVE HER!

It's that time

It's that time of year again... I am stressed.. Finals are looming, Christmas is here and pocketbooks get tighter around the end of the year it seems.

I know I shouldn't stress over such things, and that God will take care of me, even in the smallest of ways! But right now, these are the things that are troubling my mind.

1. Finals - a test and a project... the rush to get them finished, the pressure to do well
2. Money - (Hunter) will Hunter start getting instate tuition, will be be able to find an on campus job that will work with ROTC?
3. Money - (Me) I will be going home for the holidays, and because of the way my rent is due, I will be paying rent twice, within two weeks of each other. I know this will be fine and I can do it... but draining my paycheck two weeks in a row, scares me.
4. Work - things are stressful here, for a number of unmentionable reasons.. Part of me loves this place so deeply... but the other part, is so terribly ready to move on.
5. Jobs - Will I be able to get a job out of here? (Of course, see?? Meaningless worries)
6. PhD - Hurry up and wait. I applied in June, and will hopefully find out whether or not I am accepted in February. What a process... yet, I am rejoicing in the waiting.
7. Friends - I visited a dear friend of mine while home for Thanksgiving... she is so sick, so broken, so battered. Won't you pray for her? It was the worst I have seen her these past five years... and it is so hard to talk about. However, I am thankful that I was able to see her, even if it was just to hold her while she shook from the pain. Lord, bless her.. comfort her... keep her.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. It is a charmed life we lead. We are so blessed... but sometimes we can't even think to shift the focus off of ourselves and to the Father. What selfish lives we lead.

Lord,
Help us to turn to you in times of trouble. Help me to most of all trust you in ALL things. Help me to turn to you, rather than myself or anyone else. Teach me to be selfless, and deny the selfish nature of humanity. Lead me Lord.
Amen.

Tick tock... are you free??

I feel that I am very good at managing my time and delegations. I love organization and when I began training for SAI time was of major importance therefore EXCELLENT time management skills are needed. We live in such a fast paced world today and everyone struggles with time and the need to 'have time. So the following tips are things that I use to maximize my time.

Ten Time saving tips:

1. I love my planner... it keeps me organized mostly and helps me remember important dates. If you are busy and rushed how on earth are you going to remember what you told 'Jane' you were going to do three days from now?! Organization is the key to life, in my opinion... if you are not organized you will always be wasting time, money and effort... and if not yours, someone else's. 
2. Plan in pencil. For me this is a big deal. Things happen, plans change.. don't be so bogged down in your schedule that you can't flex for the ways of life. 
3. Prioritize, do what needs to be done first! If you have a deadline on something that needs to go before something you have an endless amount of time to accomplish. 
4. Do things that matter most to you. If you do what matters you will be fulfilled, as well as still being able to accomplish your goals. Don't spend all your time doing something you can't stand... in the end when it is time to do the things you don't mind you will be do tired and worn out to do anything... this only causes more frustration.
5. Take time to relax. Even if just for 15 minutes... if you are running crazy all the time you will burn out. If you stop, even if for a short period, it gives you time to recoup and regroup.
6. Put away distractions. If you know there is a show on, or you love to text your best friend... or the infamous facebook looms in your corner.. TURN OFF electronics. (this ties in with #7)
7. Set goals. If you have something specific you want to do; set a goal of things to get done before you do it. Say, you want to check facebook.... but you have laundry and homework. Finish two loads of laundry and do a set amount of homework before you even think of turning on the computer.
8. Get adaquate sleep. If you can't function properly because of lack of sleep you aren't helping. You will work less effectively and less efficiently. This makes you have to REDO things.. aka NOT productive at all!
9. Mix and match things to do. When you have school work, house work, professional work or even homework.. Try to accomplish something from each area... To me, this keeps me from getting burnt out on doing school work, or tired of cleaning. Like on the weekends I do my laundry when I do my homework. When a load buzzes, it is time for a short study break. After a brief respite, I am ready to do more homework! 
10. Self discipline and self control. You are in control. If you need to get something done, don't willingly get on facebook to complain about how much you have to do.... are you kidding? You just wasted five precious minutes!

When I am super stressed and have a crazy week ahead I try to remember each of these things. When you work hard and stay focused you will be amazed at how much you can accomplish!